From a digital nomad life to single motherhood. What a journey.

From a digital nomad life to single motherhood. What a journey.

1-From a digital nomad life to single motherhood. What a journey.

I can’t believe it took me five months to come and tell you about this new journey, my biggest one ever. I am pregnant!! I guess it took me a while to realize it’s not a dream, there is a little boy growing inside my belly! I couldn’t wait to share this story with you, my friends or family, whom I haven’t had the opportunity to sit and tell this in person.

Once I stop and think of it, this is actually just a new chapter of the same journey I started when I left Brazil in June 2013, in search of a new country for me. Before I left, there were two things I had to take care of. One was learning how to make money online so I could work and pay my bills from anywhere. And the second was to freeze my eggs, cause I was 37 then.

Once that was taken care of, I could relax and start flying around, as a free bird, “tasting” different countries, cultures, weathers, to find a place where I could stop to build my nest and start a family.

At first, I thought I needed a partner to do that, it would have been fun (maybe not, we’ll never know), but I recently discovered that I could start my family by myself. I can’t hide how happy I am. And if and when a partner shows up, it will be in natural, loving circumstances, without any “biological clock” pressure.

Here I am, six countries later, in Spain, pregnant of Oliver who has been in “in me” for over five months now, filling my heart with love ?

If I had known as much as I know now, I think I would have done this earlier! Especially after I found out that sperm banks (or life banks, as I prefer to call them) offer so much more than I thought they did. As you will see below, I know more about the biological dad of my son, than I know of ex-boyfriends I’ve had for six years! lol, And I needed to know that much to feel comfortable and safe.

As I said, if there is anything you want to know more about, send me a line and I’ll be happy to complement with your questions. I truly hope to help other single parents, especially women, out there, who like me, for a moment, could make the mistake of thinking the universe didn’t want them to be a parent, just because they were single. This is not true! If parenthood is a dream for you, as it is for me, don’t give up!

So I’ve decided to share some of the steps I had to go through and my ongoing research. It’s a way to register this for my son, who will join us in this crazy world end of August, and who I want to raise with honesty about all things. There is no love without that.

I’ve divided it into parts, so you can skip the ones that might not interest you. I’ve also selected some paragraphs below, as highlights, to make it easier. If you take the time to read it, I’d love to know which parts you found more useful or interesting or would like to know more of. I’m thinking of deepening my studies in the subject, maybe taking a master course in family or reproduction psychology, so your interests can help guide my choices.

2- HIGHLIGHTS
3- THANK YOU, DONORS! THANK YOU “JAMES”.
4- WHY WAS MOTHERHOOD so important to me?
5- DOES A LOVING FAMILY NEED TO HAVE A MOM AND A DAD?
6- TRIED FRIEND DONORS, BUT THE UNIVERSE HAD OTHER PLANS.
7- LIFE BANKS (SPERM & EGG BANKS) AND MY LACK OF KNOWLEDGE.
8- CHOOSING TO LEAVE THE DAD POSITION OPEN, instead of forcing it.
9- MEETING A SPERM BANK MOM and her child for the first time
10- HOW TO ANSWER “WHO’S MY DAD”
11- FINDING THE BEST DONOR for me
12- OPEN DONATION OR ANONYMOUS?
13- DOES ANONYMITY REALLY STILL EXIST? FUTURE IMPACTS OF DNA STUDIES.
14- GETTING YOUR FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS INVOLVED
15- ARRIVING IN BRAZIL
16- THE FERTILIZATION MOMENT
17- DISCOVERING I WAS PREGNANT
18- FREEZING EGGS
19- WHY LEAVE BRAZIL?!
20- UPDATE
21- LINKS, ARTICLES and other sources
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2-HIGHLIGHTS

“Every family comes in a different form, and that’s what makes the world so interesting. Some families have two moms, others have one dad, others have a mom and a dad or no parents at all.

When I decided I was ready to have our family, I was single. So I found out there was this big house that single parents like me could go to, where some very generous men and women can go to leave a gift for us. Something we need to have babies.

And so I went there, because I wanted to have you, and chose the most special gift I could find, and it worked immediately! I got pregnant with you! And we have to be very grateful that these generous people exist so that single parents (or couples who cant have babies) can have their families” (from part 10)

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“I keep sending all my love and gratitude to the man who gave me this gift and to all the brave and generous people who have decided to donate their sperm or eggs so single parents like me, or couples who can’t have babies, can fulfill their dream of parenthood.

It takes a sperm or an egg donor, especially the non-anonymous ones, as much courage as we recipients need to have when we decide on doing this. And I can’t be grateful and send out my love to all of them enough.” (from part 3)

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“I wanted to learn how to put myself into second place, I think this is one of the greatest opportunities for spiritual development. I wanted to feel that love that you can only feel for your kids, I wanted to have my own family to protect and care for, just as my parents did for me.” (from part 4)

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“On Monday, my mom decided she wanted to come with me for the fertilization, which made me happy. We had spent the weekend together, after six months apart, and I remember holding her and crying like a baby the day after I arrived. It was just so hard for me to go through it all. There had been so many difficult moments to reach where I was. It felt like I was going to have this big test the day after, that I had been preparing for, for years. I just felt something telling me that this was the right thing to do. This couldn’t wait any longer to be solved in my life. (part 15)”

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“If you came from a loving traditional family with a mom and a dad, as I did, accepting that a family can be different from that is hard. It was hard for me to accept this solution I found. And of course, I’m sure nothing substitutes having that loving family where a mom and a dad can have sex and mix their genes and love into a new human. But who said that a loving family needs to have a mom and a dad? Who said that a family with a mom that comes first and then with a dad that shows up later, can’t be just as loving and special? “(from part 5)

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“I talked so much and so openly about my dream, that every once in a while, I discovered one more friend who was interested in being the dad. Some were long-term friends, others were short-term friends, some were short deep relationships I had while traveling the world and others were just people I had just met. But once I opened up and talked about my dreams, they shared that parenthood was one of their dreams, too. And once you think about it, it’s much much harder for a single man to fulfill that dream than for us, single women. They need to find a “belly” and we already have one.” (from part 6)

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“She said, that after she answered him, he was satisfied and happy and went back to playing. He just needed to understand. Of course, as he grows up, she can give more details to the story. Talking to her, and listening to how she had answered her son’s question, was all I needed to hear. When they left that day, I cried. It was my 42nd birthday and I had found the answer I had been looking for. I had found a way.(from part 9)”

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“I read papers of psychology studies that favor both ways. But the most recent ones I found, favor non-anonymity. Although I understand and respect the reasons for anonymity, when I read the studies that supported non-anonymity, they matched my values more. I think knowledge is power and I think every human being should be given the option to look or not, for their biological origins. Maybe the donor won’t be alive, maybe his address will not be found, maybe I won’t be alive, maybe the child won’t be alive, there are so many “maybes”, right? How can we know? But at least my child will know I tried and I did all that I could to provide him with all the information he could have about himself. The rest is for him to choose, not for me.. (from part 12)”

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“When I got full access to Fairfax’s “life bank” website, I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I felt like I was a child in front of a candy store. Oh man! This was the fun part.There were so many interesting donors that I didn’t even know where to start. I canceled all my clients for a week and I started playing around a bit to understand how the website worked. Some nights, friends would come and visit and would find me crying. It was such an intense, emotional moment for me. A mix of happiness and fear. (from part 11)”

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“Something tells me that when a person agrees to be found by their biological child, its because deep inside, their heart is curious, too. They want to see what comes out of this act of love and courage and not only do it for the money. If it was just money, they would prefer not to be found, to start with. I’ve also learned that many of them who choose to be anonymous to start, later on, regret it and want to know their biological kids. But unfortunately, most sperm banks don’t offer that option. With the donor registries now, they can register, and hope their biological relative will do the same, so they can eventually find each other.” (part 12)

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“After listening to several “life bank children” and respectful studies conducted with them, as you can find in the links below, I concluded that it all depends on how much transparency, information and love the parents give their children from the start. If you’re entirely honest and let them know that they will have to deal with this, they will grow strong and ready. The same way a child with other kinds of problems can grow strong and manage his challenges. So I prefer to give my child all the information he can have about his origins, and he will choose what he wants to do with it. (part 12)”

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“I arrived in Rio by plane on Nov 30th late at night, after a 20-hour layover in Morocco, and there were no more flights to my hometown. I couldn’t wait till the next morning and risk ovulating, so I took a 6-hour bus from Rio to my hometown overnight after that long international flight, to make it to the clinic the next morning. My heart was beating and all I wanted to hear from my doctor was that we could go ahead and do it, that I had not ovulated yet. I was so ready to do this! And that’s exactly what he said! It was like winning a lottery ticket for me. And the best part, the sperm (I should say, my Xmas “gift”) had arrived from the US to my hometown, the same day I did. Talk about the “Universe dancing this song with me”, huh? ?(part 14)”

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“We went to the fertilization room, him, the nurse, my mom and I. There was a huge screen where I could see the moment he implanted the embryo, my baby, into my belly. He talked to me the whole time and showed me all that he was doing. He and his nurse even sang this cute “come baby, come baby” Brazilian song to cheer us all even more. So Brazilian. I was happy to be doing this in my country, surrounded by my happy people. What a beautiful moment! How lucky am I to get to see this happening, right? I wouldn’t have got to see this if I was going the “usual sex route”. lol (part 15)”

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“Although I love my country, my family, my friends, my culture, I just couldn’t find what I needed, to grow a family there. I didn’t know where it was, but I wanted it to have a beach nearby, a huge beautiful green park, good weather, a place where biking could be my daily commute, where public services worked well, with safety, transportation, education and a good health system. Where I could have a high-quality life for fair costs. And I looked till I found it. (part 18)”

3- THANK YOU, DONORS! THANK YOU “JAMES”!

I keep sending all my love and gratitude to the man who gave me this gift and to all the brave and generous people who have decided to donate their sperm or eggs so single parents like me, or couples who can’t have babies, can fulfill their dream of parenthood.

It takes a sperm or an egg donor, especially the non-anonymous ones, as much courage as we recipients need to have when we decide on doing this. And I can’t be grateful and send out my love to all of them enough.

Going to a “life bank” (I prefer this term that serves for human reproduction in general, sperm or eggs), having to sign a contract, doing exams after exams, from DNA to emotional tests, recording audio interviews with staff members, as many high-quality banks require donors do, sharing lifetime pictures ( from their baby to adult life moments), that will be sent to the recipients and then shown to their “biological kids”, exposing themselves when accepting “open donation”, which means their biological kids can look for them when they are 18, taking this kind of risk, can be as hard as it is for us recipients to decide on this kind of solution.

My mom is very funny, it was very hard for her to accept my decision at first. She thought it was best for me to accept the donation from a friend since I had that option, but from the moment she came with me to do the fertilization, she’s been in love with this baby as much as I am. Right before I left Brazil, when I was already pregnant, one day her neighbor asked who the dad of the baby was and she answered quicker than me, “It’s James, her ex-boyfriend”. lol, When we went inside I asked her “who is James mamae?!” and she said, “Well, that’s the name I gave his biological dad, and I’m just going to say he is your ex-boyfriend to people that are not close enough for me to tell the whole story, alright?!”. lol

So instead of using the donor’s number, since I don’t have his name yet, I’ll do what she did, and just call him James. Thank you, James! You have given me the best gift of my life! I hope all this love that you brought into my heart goes back to you and your family, double!

4- WHY WAS MOTHERHOOD so important to me?

I wanted to learn how to put myself in second place, I think this is one of the greatest opportunities for spiritual development. I wanted to feel that love that you can only feel for your kids, I wanted to have my own family to protect and care for, just as my parents did for me.

Many of my close friends and family were worried that I would suffer a lot as a single mom, living abroad, after all the freedom and great single life I’ve had so far. But if you know me well, you know how much I’ve craved for experiencing the motherhood journey since I can remember.

If you’ve been around me, especially in the last few years, you probably got tired of listening to me talk about this. And you’ve seen how much I was struggling to find the best possible way to do it. Our biological clocks don’t wait and if we really want this, we need to have the courage to explore the options we have, right here, right now. Actually, all the big steps in life require this kind of discomfort and courage, right? There is no easy route and no perfect timing for the big steps in life.

5- DOES A LOVING FAMILY NEED TO HAVE A MOM AND A DAD?

If you came from a loving traditional family with a mom and a dad, as I did, accepting that a family can be different from that is hard. It was hard for me to accept this solution I found. And of course, I’m sure nothing substitutes having that loving family where a mom and a dad can have sex and mix their genes and love into a new human. But who said that a loving family needs to have a mom and a dad? Who said that a family with a mom that comes first and then with a dad that shows up later, can’t be just as loving and special?

We hear about so many kids growing up in disturbed homes, where parents just fight all day, disrespect each other, go through terrible divorces, or worse, sometimes just live long unhappy lives to keep the “family” together. I even heard from friends that would actually prefer not to have known their biological parent.

So with all these conversations and discussions, I started having here in Spain, I started getting curious. I wanted to ask these sperm bank moms, who were all around, how they would cope with that moment when their child wants to know who their biological dad is. I wanted to know what and how they answered, how much truth there was, if they felt guilty if the child suffered later on.

6- TRIED FRIEND DONORS, BUT THE UNIVERSE HAD OTHER PLANS FOR ME.

I talked so much and so openly about my dream, that every once in a while, I discovered one more friend who was interested in being the dad. Some were long-term friends, others were short-term friends, some were short deep relationships I had while traveling the world and others were just people I had just met, but once I opened up and talked about my dreams, they shared that parenthood was one of their dreams, too. And once you think about it, it’s much much harder for a single man to fulfill that dream than for us, single women. They need to find a “belly” and we already have one.

After analyzing each situation closely, there was always something that didn’t fit right. For example, they lived in another country and wanted me to go live where they are, so they could be present in the child’s life, of course. A good dad wants to be near his child. But after I discovered Spain, with all its charm, I didn’t want to leave here. It took me so long to find the place (the nest) I was looking for… Or, if they lived in Spain, I didn’t know them long enough to make a lifetime commitment as having a child.

Everywhere I looked there was something that just didn’t feel right or made me scared. I was scared of this dad, who either lived far away, or who I felt I didn’t know long enough, who probably wouldn’t help me with the long sleepless nights nor with other resources I might need, who would surely fall in love with this child once they met, of course, and then would only show up whenever he wanted, to start interfering in our future, controlling where we live, what we do.

The few times that I decided to risk it and accept friend’s donation, it didn’t work. Like this one time the “friend donor”’s father had a heart problem and went to the hospital and he wanted me to wait for indefinite time for us to go do the fertilization in Brazil. Or when another friend wanted me to go to his country for us to talk about it in person and decide the details, and I found out my visa had expired and I couldn’t go. Or even, when this friend half my age (in my defense, he looks older, is super handsome and has a huge heart) decided he wanted to be the donor, came from his country to live with me for a couple of months, I struggled to accept due to our age difference, but once I did, we tried for a month and I didn’t get pregnant. Yes, I know a month is nothing, but he was too messy for me to live with him for many more months trying this crazy idea.

So I felt that deep inside, I knew the universe just had some other plans for me.

7- LIFE BANKS (SPERM & EGG BANKS) AND MY LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I always said that sperm banks weren’t an option for me. I used to think and say they were a selfish option, where the parents fulfill their dream, without thinking of the child’s wish to have a real dad.

I also thought that all donors were doing it just because of the money. I didn’t know that the “ID option” for the child to meet the biological parent after they are 16 or 18 years old, was an option in some countries.

I had no idea of how much information they collected from the donors and how long they had to commit to this process.

I had no idea that in Spain, already 10% of the kids are born from assisted reproduction (34.000 kids per year). Each school class here, has at least 2 or 3 kids on average, with the same family story. In terms of total numbers, it is only behind the US (80.000 born kids per year, or 2% of born infants) and Japan(20.000 born kids per year, or 2%). And that is the tendency around the world. In Brazil, for example, sperm bank sales are growing around 3000% a year!

I didn’t know there are organizations such as DCN (Donor Conception Network), which develop a toolkit that supports families and schools and guide teachers through the process of acknowledging differences in the way families are built, celebrating their uniqueness.

I didn’t know that since 2000, the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR), a relative-matching database, has helped connect more than 15.000 children with their half-siblings and/or their donors. Helping them create and explore these new familial relationships and better understand their ancestry and learn about their medical backgrounds. Actually, the dramatic growth of these databases is raising ethical challenges for the donor conception community. It has been recognized for some time that donor anonymity can no longer be guaranteed

Once I started learning all this, I felt comfortable to make my decision. And from the moment I chose the life bank option, it all worked perfect, as the Universe was dancing this song with me, in perfect tune. Everything I had tried before had been hard and difficult. And now, it all started flowing. It was time to put my effort into finding the best “life bank”. The one that would match my needs and values the best.

At first, I wanted to work with the Danish cryobank. I’ve always found Danish men so interesting and full of character. When I started researching and discovered they have one of the most advanced sperm banks in the world, I was happy. But then I found out it would be too risky and expensive to bring my eggs from Brazil to Denmark or anywhere. And it wasn’t possible to take the Danish sperm to Brazil either. After talking to my doctor in Brazil, from Fertibaby clinic, where my eggs were frozen, he told me they now had a contract with an American sperm bank, Fairfax, that has an office in Brazil and made it logistically easy. He mentioned some other patients had already used their services and were happy.

So I contacted Fairfax Brazil and they gave me access to their website to find the donor I wanted. Later on, when I was in Brazil, already pregnant, I went to Sao Paulo to interview Jose Roberto Alegretti, who is the Embryologist and Founder of Fairfax Brazil. It’s a franchise and they are responsible for helping all the Brazilian women have access to this complete service. Links below. The interview was done in Portuguese, and I asked him all that I wanted about the sperm donation, the legal aspects of it and so forth. If you want to listen and need the English subtitles, let me know.

8-CHOOSING TO LEAVE THE DAD POSITION OPEN, instead of forcing it.

When I chose the life bank option, in reality, I was leaving the “dad position” open to a man who might still show up, who I will get to know well, who can really love this child, help me with the sleepless nights, with the investment of time and energy on raising this human being. And if it’s just my son and me, that’s OK. But I won’t have to force this “child commitment” between two people who either don’t live in the same country or don’t know each other well enough.

I must add, that, as part of my long research, I also tried websites like www.modamily.com or http://www.co-padres.es. I went out for dinner with men I met on these websites, where moms look for dads and vice versa. And I was astonished by how serious people registered here are. Both men really wanted to have kids, I could see how much they wanted it. But I didn’t feel any attraction for them and as I said before, I was scared. I didn’t know them well enough. And then I learned I had a better, safer option.

9- MEETING A SPERM BANK MOM and her child for the first time

So I started asking around and one friend was kind enough to introduce me to one of these brave women. I went for coffee with her, she brought her gorgeous seven-year-old son. I remember it bothered me that he was there at first, cause I didn’t want to ask my questions in front of him. But she immediately told me I could ask her anything. That he knew about everything. She told me he was 4 years old when he looked her deep in her eyes and asked who his dad was. She said he had asked her before, but not in that serious, deep way.

She said, that after she answered him, he was satisfied and happy and went back to playing. He just needed to understand. Of course, as he grows up, she can give more details to the story. Talking to her, and listening to how she answered him, was all I needed to hear. When they left that day, I cried. It was my 42nd birthday and I had found the answer I had been looking for. I had found a way.

10- HOW TO ANSWER “WHO’S MY DAD”

Now, this is “my version” of what she answered. I mean, since she told me this, I keep talking to many more people who have experience in the subject, or friends who have been supporting me through this phase, I have researched and researched, I’ve spent days and weeks watching videos and reading articles about this on the internet, testimonials, and so forth, and I’ve been processing my answer with all that I have collected and felt since then.

So this is what my answer is like right now. Surely it will change more after I meet my son, but whatever it is, it will be full of transparency and honesty. Cause that’s the only way I can do things. Soooo, I will tell him …

Every family comes in a different form, and that’s what makes the world so interesting. Some families have two moms, others have one dad, others have a mom and a dad or no parents at all.

When I decided I was ready to have our family, I was single. So I found out there was this big house that single parents like me could go to, where some very generous men and women can go to leave a gift for us. Something we need to have babies.

And so I went there, because I wanted to have you, and chose the most special gift I could find, and it worked immediately! I got pregnant with you! And we have to be very grateful that these generous people exist so that single parents (or couples who cant have babies) can have their families

11- FINDING THE BEST DONOR for me

When I got full access to Fairfax’s “life bank” website, I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I felt like I was a child in front of a candy store. Oh man! This was the fun part. There were so many interesting donors that I didn’t even know where to start. I canceled all my clients for a week and I started playing around a bit to understand how the website worked. Some nights, friends would come and visit and would find me crying or laughing, with my Spanish wine in front of this website with my notes, my incenses, and candles. It was such an intense, emotional moment for me. A mix of happiness and fear.

It was October of 2017, weather still good in Spain. From my terrace, on the sixth floor of my building near Avenida Puerto, that connects old town to the beach, I heard those audio files over and over. I made transcripts of the ones I liked more and analyzed how each one made me feel. Some were so easy to eliminate. And only one of them gave me goosebumps. As if his answers were my answers. I had found a man that seemed (of course you can’t define someone by a 20-minute audio file) the kind of person I would want to introduce to my child when the time comes, if it comes. I just wanted to find someone that would stand up for my choice.

Once I made my decision and bought my “gift” at the “life bank”, the word started spreading in my family and every once in a while I got loving messages and calls of concern from my aunts or my mom, wanting to know if I was sure, telling me they were worried, that maybe I should wait a bit more to meet someone. lol. And I can’t thank and love them enough for being concerned but it did make me feel things at a much higher level.

Back to the “life bank” website, if I could suggest changes, I’d suggest they give the mom a video tutorial of how to select their filters, to best match their interests. I could have done it in a shorter time if I had more guidance. But at the end, it worked well.

First I learned how to filter the men who chose “ID option”, which means they allow the “life bank” to provide their name and address to the children when they become 18 years old. Now it’s up to them to update this information throughout time, it’s not the banks’ responsibility to keep track of them. That is clear in the contract. On the mother’s side, we have to report the child’s birth to the “life bank” once we have our baby.

For me, the only two filters were the “ID option” and “Lifetime pictures” because most donors only allow the bank to use pictures of them as kids, but I wanted to see the man’s face as an adult as well. Someone’s face tells me a lot about them and I needed that. With those two filters in place, I had already eliminated 90% of the candidates. Because, of course, most men are not interested in meeting the child later on. I don’t judge them. It’s not easy, I’m sure. That’s why I value the open donation so much. It takes so much courage. And I started looking at their faces, one by one, to see how I felt. After choosing the 10 faces that I was mostly attracted to, I started listening to their audio files.

The bank provides audio files of up to 20-minute conversations between one of their staff members and the donors and they ask some meaningful questions that can tell you a lot about that person. Like “why did you decide to participate in this donor program?”, “what would you like to teach your kids?”, “what traits do you look for in a partner?”, “where would you be if you were not here?”, “what’s your favorite film and book?”, etc. This is when I asked my angels to protect and guide my choice.

12- OPEN DONATION OR ANONYMOUS?

Something tells me that when a person chooses to be non-anonymous, its because deep inside, their heart is curious, too. They want to see what comes out of this act of love and courage and not only do it for the money or goodwill. If it was just that, they would prefer not to be found, to start with. I’ve also learned that many of them who choose to be anonymous to start, later on, regret it and want to know their biological kids and their families. And most banks don’t offer that option. With the donor registries and DNA study companies now, they can register and hope their biological relative will do the same, so they can eventually find each other.

In countries like Spain or Brazil, for example, a donor still does not have the option of meeting his biological child in the future. At least, not yet. The only good side of this that I see, as I said, is that the numbers of donors, in these countries that favor anonymity, is much much higher and enables many more families to have kids. In any case, most legal systems, in the growing number of countries that accept open donation, only allow the child to get his biological parent information when he/she is 16 or 18.

I read psychology papers that favor both ways. But the most recent ones I found, favor non-anonymity. Although I understand and respect the reasons for anonymity, when I read the studies that supported non-anonymity, they matched my values more. I think knowledge is power and I think every human being should be given the option to look or not, for their biological origins. Maybe the donor won’t be alive, maybe his address will not be found, maybe I won’t be alive, maybe the child won’t be alive, there are so many “maybes”, right? How can we know? But at least my child will know I tried and I did all that I could to provide him with all the information he could have about himself. The rest is for him to choose, not for me.

I have had friends and doctors here in Spain argue with me that anonymity should be the only way. Many people believe that giving the child this option, of meeting their biological parent later, will make them grow up with this question mark in their minds, till they are 18. And if the biological parent can’t be found, or has passed away, or is not what the child thought he/she would be, it could be worse than not meeting them at all.

After listening to some “life bank children” and respectful studies conducted with them, as you can find in the links below, I concluded that it all depends on how much transparency, information and love the parents give their children from the start. If you’re entirely honest and let them know that they will have to deal with this, they will grow strong and ready. The same way a child with other kinds of problems can grow strong and manage his challenges. So I prefer to give my child all the information he can have about his origins, and he will choose what he wants to do with it.

There are so many challenges or traumas one can have in life that are bigger than this, and we learn how to deal with it and grow strong when there is love and support around us. Look at Stephen Hawkin, who just passed away recently, at 76, with all the challenges he had in his life, how much wisdom and love he spread to all of us. Was his life worth it?

I am experiencing this miracle of life, of having a little human growing up inside me, and he is filling my heart with so much love, that all I can think is how much we will all learn, feel and experience from all this, together.

13- With DONOR REGISTRIES and DNA STUDY companies, does anonymity still really exist? FUTURE IMPACTS.

As I said in part 7 (about life banks), it has been recognized for some time that, in practice, donor anonymity can no longer be guaranteed. At least till we develop a blockchain type solution where each person will have a private key to their own DNA study so they can set up smart contracts that will give them more power over their decision to be anonymous. They could then use a relative-matching database, such as the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR) to assist them without having to share their DNA with these companies, but just their public key to it. Which means, their relative could be found, if they wanted, without them having to being exposed to companies such as 23andme or AncestryDNA or pharma companies such as Pfizer, that are buying our DNA information from them without our control or authorization.

Just so you have an idea of the problem, I’ll give you an example. In 2016, 23andMe sold DNA data for drug search. Their clients pay $199, spit in a tube, and several weeks later they’ll get a peek into their DNA. To know if they got the gene for blond hair. Or to which of 36 disease risks they could pass to their child.  Then, the company revealed it had sold access to the data to more than 13 drug companies. One, Genentech, struck a $60 million deal with them for a look at the genes of people with Parkinson’s disease. When asked, they said  that “Sharing resources will help them figure out new ways to treat disease and to design clinical trials.” They may well do. But it’s also important for users to be aware of what they’re agreeing to when they spit in a tube, right?

Now, everyone who paid and sent their saliva to them, for the fun of knowing more about themselves and their ancestry, have their most important secret in the hands of drug companies, who will do God knows what with that. These DNA study companies offer you a feature with a genealogical tree, where you can find and connect with your biological relatives who have also bought their DNA studies through them. What if you don’t want to be found?

I attended a five day training on blockchain technology and worked side by side with a startup called genobank, to think of ways that we could solve this problem to ensure that anonymous donors continue anonymous and non-anonymous can be found without having to share their DNA info with anyone.

The fact is that almost 90% of donors choose anonymity. Imagine when they find out they could be exposed by these DNA companies and their genealogical trees. I’m afraid they might just not donate anymore. If this happens, 10% of the children born in Spain, for example, that are a result of assisted human reproduction, might not be able to exist anymore. Countries like the UK and Australia, who do not allow anonymous donors anymore, have their people flying into Spain because there aren’t enough donors there anymore.  Imagine all these families, who fulfilled their dream of parenthood not being able to have children anymore.

I can understand why only a minority of donors accept an open donation. They are afraid of the future legal implications this could bring. And they might not even be fully aware of the risks involved yet. They donate because the majority of them are in the university, living a student life, needing money for their student tuitions or for their books. These sperm/egg banks or Human Reproduction Clinics visit them in College to explain the benefits of donating. They take classes such as “bioethics” that teaches them about the importance of donating and they feel inspired to help others and make some money in return.

Depending on the country, they can make up to 1500 usd per month of donation. And I, honestly, think they deserve it, or even more, for how much work they put into the whole process when it’s a serious ethical life bank. Women, in Spain, who donate their eggs, for example, make around 1000 euros per process and that doesn’t even cover their expenses with medication treating their skin from all the hormone marks they can get. Some women feel nothing with the treatment. Others, like me, can gain weight, get swollen and have skin and other marks that will stay, unless you spend a bunch of money with dermatology and laser treatment, among other more complicated things that we can explore later. There are studies that show that women should receive at least five thousand euros per donation if they were to receive the same as male donors, based on the average 56 hours they will need to invest in the process and afterwards.

When they get there to donate, men and women, after going through the hard decision of doing so, depending on the country, they discover that they have the option of being anonymous or not. Are they prepared to answer such an even harder, important question? They are asked about all those other things we talked about in parts 7 and 11. The easiest, safest way out is to be anonymous, right?

14- GETTING YOUR FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS INVOLVED

Before I bought the sperm, it was important for me to get my family and my close friends involved somehow. I wanted them to feel part of the process and I wanted to hear how they felt. Maybe it was a way for me to feel like I was not alone. In Spain, this is very very common and all my friends were encouraging me. The girl who I do my Reiki sessions with, once a month, was also very important to help me feel brave. Around the world, my close friends, who I usually keep in touch with, were sick and tired of me postponing this dream and talking about it so much. So they were all like “Mari, just do it! You can do it!” My sister and my brother were supportive, especially my sister, and that meant a lot to me.

As I said before, it was hard for my mom and my aunts at first. And that is totally understandable. If it was so hard for me to see the advantages and accept this option, imagine for them, that come from a different generation, where this had never been heard of. My family is actually very open-minded and liberal about many things. Actually, my parents were the most liberal parents I know of. I could always talk to them about anything. And they would always listen to me and consider my input. But we are still from Minas Gerais, Brazil, a conservative “Catholic background” country, where traditionally, a family needs to have a mom, a dad and the kids are results of that loving relationship. Well, that’s what people wish for, at least.

Now, reality has changed. People have kids in their late 30s and early 40s instead of early 20s. Families come in many shapes and forms. Women don’t need to be in relationships to leave their parents’ homes. We can and should vote, work, we can be Presidents, we can pay our bills and we can have kids without being in relationships. As long as there are love and honesty, it’s all good, right?

It was important for me to try to make the important people in my life participate as much as possible. I called some of them, I asked for their opinion, I listened..

And in the final phase of choosing the donor, since I was in Spain and they were in Brazil, I even created a WhatsApp group with my sister, my brother and my cousin and I shared the 3 finalist donor files with them so they could give me their feedback. And this whatsapp chat was amazing. Having them participate, seeing why they would choose one or another, and seeing their excitement grow, just made me feel better about the whole thing. In the end, it was curious to see that their #1 and #2 candidates were unavailable, and their #3, which was my #1 from the start, was available! “Unavailable” means that when I called the life bank, some other women had already purchased all their stock and the bank did not know if and when they’d come back to donate more.

I bought it and started the process of planning my trip to Brazil to get the fertilization done. I had one month to prepare, to take all the hormones, do the ultrasounds in Spain, send them to my doctor in Brazil, for him to follow up and get it all ready. So exciting!

15- ARRIVING IN BRAZIL

The last ultrasound I did before leaving Spain had shown that I was about to ovulate. This happened because I messed up the dates of my last period, probably because of all my anxiety, so I gave the wrong date to my clinic and my cycle had been much shorter than usual, so I ended up taking the hormones a bit earlier than I should have. The doctor had warned me that if I ovulated, we’d have to cancel the treatment and start it all over again, which meant that I’d have to stop the medication and wait till my next period came, start taking the hormones all over again, which can be very expensive, and stay in Brazil for another month or more to do all this, while a friend was taking care of my home in Spain.

My rent contract in Spain was going to end soon, the owners wanted to sell the apartment, so I either had to buy it or leave it by end of March. I had to be back by end of January to solve that, so my clock was ticking once again.

I arrived in Rio by plane on Nov 30th late at night, after a 20-hour layover in Morocco, and there were no more flights to my hometown. I couldn’t wait till the next morning and risk ovulating, so I took a 6-hour bus from Rio to my hometown overnight after that long international flight, to make it to the clinic the next morning. My heart was beating and all I wanted to hear from my doctor was that we could go ahead and do it, that I had not ovulated yet. I was so ready to do this! And that’s exactly what he said! I could go ahead and do it the following day! It was like winning a lottery ticket for me. And the best part, the sperm (I should say, my Xmas “gift”) had arrived from the US to my hometown, the same day I did. Talk about the “Universe dancing this song with me”, huh? ?

So he scheduled the IVF (in vitro fertilization) for the next day, December, 1st. That means that the following day, at the clinic, they unfroze the 4 eggs from my first batch and fertilized them with the sperm in vitro. They called me that day, it was a Friday, to say that 3 of the 4 eggs had survived the unfreezing process and asked me if I wanted to fertilize all 3 of them. I didn’t know what to say. All I could think of the possibility of having 3 babies at once! Oh, my! So I asked what they would do if they were me, and they said, of course, they would fertilize them all, cause it increased the chances of success. That there were many cases where they implanted 3 eggs and none of them worked. So I spent the weekend dreaming that I was going to have 3 babies! God help me!

16- THE FERTILIZATION MOMENT

On Monday, my mom decided she wanted to come with me for the fertilization, which made me happy. We had spent the weekend together, after six months apart, and I remember holding her an crying like a baby the day after I arrived. It was just so hard for me to go through it all. There had been so many difficult moments to reach where I was. It felt like I was going to have this big test the day after, that I had been preparing for, for years. I just felt something telling me that this was the right thing to do. This couldn’t wait any longer to be solved in my life.

We went to the clinic together, and we sat there waiting for my turn, my embryo (or embryos since they fertilized 3) had already been in vitro for 3 days, it was time to implant them inside my belly. We were in the waiting room, talking to this couple who had a gorgeous big baby that had been the result of IVF. I could see that little, by little, my mom was starting to see that this “human reproduction” new world, was actually very interesting and needed.

When we went in, my doctor, Leonardo Meyer, told us that from the 3 eggs that had survived the unfreezing process, only 1 had survived the IVF, but that he was looking very healthy. Usually, these embryos have 8 cells and mine already had 12 cells, which was a good sign. I was kind of relieved it was just one, to be honest, ? He talked to my mom for over 30 minutes about how much I was making the right choice, told her stories of other patients he helped and that was another very special moment. So nice of him.

We went to the fertilization room, him, the nurse, my mom and I. There was a huge screen where I could see the moment he implanted the embryo, my baby, into my belly. He talked to me the whole time and showed me all that he was doing. He and his nurse even sang this cute “come baby, come baby” Brazilian song to cheer us all even more. So Brazilian. I was happy to be doing this in my country, surrounded by my happy people. What a beautiful moment! How lucky am I to get to see this happening, right? I wouldn’t have got to see this if I was going the “usual sex route”. lol

Now it was time to go home, stay put, and pray for this embryo to like my belly, to adapt to it. And 11 days later I could do the exam to see if I was pregnant or not.

17- DISCOVERING I WAS PREGNANT

I couldn’t wait for 11 days, we were all so excited, so after 9 days my sister got home with a pharmacy test and it was positive! But I was afraid to believe it because of all the hormones I had been talking, I needed the blood test to confirm. So on Dec 15th, I got the blood exam positive result! Santa Claus had given me the best gift of my life early! What a dream come true!

Some weeks later, while I was still in Brazil, my mom and my sister came with me to my first ultrasound and we could hear the baby’s heart. I still couldn’t believe it was true. What a miracle.

On week eight, I was already in Sao Paulo, working, a week away from coming back home, and I did the blood exam to discover the sex. My sister had already organized a family bet and most people thought it would be another girl, since all three great grandchildren in my mom’s family, so far, are girls. When I found out it was a boy I was thrilled! I didn’t have any preference, but it feels great to know there will be another man in this family of so many women. I can’t believe I’m finally experiencing what it’s like to have a human growing inside of me. I’ve been dancing “alone” these days, I mean, with him, trying to enjoy each second of this new journey.

18- FREEZING EGGS

Since we’re talking about me looking for and then building my nest, let’s go ahead and talk about eggs ? Cause for us, women who dream of motherhood, the sooner we take care of this, the better and cheaper. If we have the money to buy us time to make up our minds, we must do it.

I froze my eggs in a clinic in my hometown, Belo Horizonte, the clinic is called Fertibaby, and for those interested in more details, I’m adding all the links at the end of this post with more information. I spent so much time researching about all the best options, that maybe you can benefit and save some. This clinic, for example, has charged me about one-tenth of what women spend in countries as the US and Australia and at least a third of what Brazilian women spend in Sao Paulo. Not because they lack in service, the other way around. Because they decided to be a small, personalized clinic that offers what most big clinics can’t offer anymore. Affordable prices to help all women, not only the rich ones, fulfill their dream. Leonardo Meyer, their founder, my doctor, has always worked as a volunteer doing social work. When I was deciding which clinic to do it with, I remember in the other two I visited, the doctors spent like 30 minutes with me, at the most. He spent over an hour, listening and answering all my questions with all the love and kindness a single parent needs when he or she are making these life decisions.

They managed to help me long distance to prepare myself for the day of the procedure because I was living in Sao Paulo back then and they are in Belo Horizonte, my hometown. I did both, the freezing and the fertilization process with them. We have had a relationship since 2013 and I still have my second batch of eggs frozen there and another batch of sperm from the same donor I used, in case I decide to have a second child from the same man.

I also interviewed Leonardo, the founder, in my podcast, where I asked him all those questions women have when they are invested in the subject, but we spoke Portuguese, so in case you’re interested, I’ll try to get the subtitles in English for you. Let me know if you are.

The first time, when I was 37, I got 4 eggs and the second, when I was 39, I got 7 eggs. So it’s not only about your age. It’s also about how healthy, how thin, how happy you are. I was in a much better place at 39 than I was at 37. Because then, I was already meditating daily, I was doing my once a year six-day silence retreats in Thailand, my online coaching business was doing very well, so it all helped I guess.

Right before the fertilization, they asked me if I was going to unfreeze all two batches (from 37 and 39 years old) and fertilize them all at once with this sperm, so we could freeze the ones we didn’t use already fertilized, because that’s safer for the eggs. But I wanted to save the second batch for my second child and who knows. Maybe by then, I’ll be in a relationship and it wouldn’t be fair to take away the possibility of my new love to be the biological dad. So I preferred to unfreeze and fertilize only the first batch. We kept the second one not fertilized yet, the way it was.

19- WHY LEAVE BRAZIL?

Although I’m very proud to be Brazilian and I love my country, my family, my friends, my culture, I just couldn’t find what I needed, to grow a family there. I didn’t know where it was, but I wanted it to have a beach nearby, a huge beautiful green park, good weather, a place where biking could be my daily commute, where public services worked well, such as safety, transportation, education and health system. Where I could have a high-quality life for fair costs. And I looked till I found it.

Along the way, I found out that working online, traveling from country to country, was now called being a “digital nomad”. But that was never the plan, the plan was to find a new home for me. But once I tried it, once I saw how light life can be living from a backpack, exploring different cultures and parts, I can’t lie. I hope I can do it in different moments of my life, with my family.

I didn’t want to do what I see most friends in big cities doing nowadays. Working twelve hours and seeing their children only a couple of hours each day, so they can afford to pay the bills and accumulate things they don’t need. I didn’t want to suffer and sacrifice what my parents had to suffer and sacrifice in Brazil to give us the great life we had. I wanted to be able to enjoy life next to my children and not just work and worry about them.

After trying several countries and even more cities, I found Valencia! It’s been over a year I settled here. By doing my volunteer work with the community, I have made some very special friends and I can feel those roots growing under my feet again. The roots that we lose when we fly for a long time as digital nomads. It’s important to settle and re-learn how to grow them. With the community you choose.

Once the nest was created, since I was still single, I started exploring all the options I had.

20- UPDATE

Oliver has been in my belly for over five months now. The doctor said he’s doing great, growing as he should, healthy. Day after day I keep dreaming of his little face, of touching and smelling him. We’ve survived the bigger “risk zone” of the first 12 weeks. I’ve received the results of week 24 exams which show that it’s all good with him. I have heard his heart and seen him moving his little arms and legs. I feel and see him kicking my belly every day and I stop everything I’m doing to just watch and feel him.

I came back to Spain after week #8 of pregnancy to find a new apartment for us. That mission was accomplished. I got his room almost ready, with a little terrace with plant and a hammock for me to be with him during the fall. So now it’s time to work hard on getting passive income, so I can relax when he comes. My mom is coming to help me a week before he is born, she will stay with me for three months. I’m making plans for the three of us to travel after he’s one month old, by car, around Spain and south of France to enjoy this precious time. I wish my dad was around so he too could participate with us and enjoy his first grandson. My health plan and my house are in Spain, so this is where it makes sense to have him.

Now I’m researching about natural birth at home, midwives, humanized labor and all of that. If my doctor says that Oliver and I are good to go, I might just do that. But my hospital is ten minutes by car from my house. I’ve been exercising four times a week, feeling great, will start swimming classes for pregnant women and massages next month, so I can have a healthy active last trimester. When the time comes, my doctor and I will decide what is best.

I couldn’t be happier to be sharing this story and I hope you, too, find the strength to go after your dreams, break some “rules”, even if it seems crazy and selfish at first, it’s not. Once you’re happy and filled with love, better chances that those around you will be, too. I’ll try to keep writing about our next discoveries and adventures. Let me know how you like it. I’d love to hear from you.

21- LINKS to related Institutions, videos, articles

Fertibaby human reproduction clinic where I froze my eggs/ did the fertilization (IVF)

Podcast interview I did with Leonardo Meyer, Founder of Fertibaby clinic, Human Reproduction specialist, Embryologist.

Fairfax Cryobank – sperm bank I used, present in over 50 countries, they have an office in Brazil

Podcast interview I did with Jose Roberto Allegretti, Scientific Director of Fairfax Cryobank, the biggest sperm bank in the US, present in more than 50 countries. Embryology Lab director of Huntington, biggest Human Reproduction clinic in Latin America.

article – El 10% de los niños nacidos en España son ya fruto de la reproducción asistida

article – In the [American Society of Reproductive Medicine] guidelines, issued in 2007, the organization’s ethics committee considered—and then rejected—a pricing structure based on an outright comparison to sperm donation. If the average payment for sperm donation was $75 for an hour’s worth of work, the committee members reasoned, then a woman paid the same hourly rate should get $4,200 for the 56 hours it typically takes to donate eggs—but “because oocyte donation entails more discomfort, risk, and physical intrusion than sperm donation,” they wrote, “sperm-donor reimbursement rates are reasonably considered to underestimate the amount that is appropriate for women providing oocytes.”

articleDonor-conceived children born to single women are equally well adjusted as those from two-parent donor-conceived families, according to a recent UK study examining the views of single mothers and children aged between four and nine years old. In general, our findings seem to suggest that what matters most for children’s outcomes in solo-mother families is not the absence of a father, nor donor conception, but the quality of parenting, and positive parent-child relationships,’ said Dr Zadeh.

article The World Health Organisation (WHO) is considering making changes to the definition of infertility to recognise that every individual has the ‘right to reproduce’. Currently, the WHO defines infertility as a disability and ‘a disease of the reproductive system defined by the failure to achieve a clinical pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse’. However, it is considering expanding the definition to include those who are lacking, or unable to find, a sexual partner with whom to naturally conceive.

Broadly B video for “ovary action”, with information and cost egg freezing

video (click) – Riley met with his donor for the first time five years ago. Now, aged 23, Riley shares his upbeat view on being a donor-conceived person.

video – when it’s time to talk to your very own egg donor child? Helane S. Rosenberg, Ph.D., the first mom to ever receive a donor egg in New Jersey and her lovely daughter, Allegra Heart Epstein share their personal story with you in this moving video

wikipedia overview list sperm donation laws by country

video Ricky martin explains how it was when his kids asked if they ame out of his belly

video aboutSperm donor dad bonds with the kids he never knew he had

video – Sperm Donor Meets His 19 Children All Together

A short documentary film that follows 13 year old Nathan on a journey to meet 6 of his 19 half siblings, all of whom were conceived with the assistance of sperm donor 5114.

video – Matt recently found out his dad was not his biological father and is now on the hunt for his biological family. This video shows him meeting his brother.

video Chantelle’s parents told her when she was eight years old but kept it a secret from her relatives that she had been conceived using donor sperm, so she started carrying their shame as if it were hers to have. Because of that “secret”, she for a long time thought she was different, although she grew up in a loving family. She met her biological donor when she was 18. For more information, visit varta.org.au

article DCR (Donor Conceived Register) A name given in 2013 to a voluntary information and contact register that enables donor-conceived people, their donors and their half-siblings to exchange information and (where desired) contact one another. Part of the National Gamete Donation Service. The register is for anyone over 18 who donated or was donor-conceived in the UK prior to August 1991.

article – The conceptual foundation of the right to know one’s genetic origins, 5 June 2017 – To cite Baroness Lady Warnock: ‘I cannot argue that children who are told of their origins (…) are necessarily happier, or better off in any way that can be estimated. But I do believe that if they are not told, they are being wrongly treated’ (10).

article – DNA test to find out our percentages of ‘British’, ‘Irish’ or ‘Scandinavian’ that also serve as a relative-matching database. The dramatic growth of the databases is raising ethical challenges for the donor conception community. It has been recognized for some time that donor anonymity can no longer be guaranteed but this hypothetical threat is now very much a reality. For genealogists, this aspect of the test has a very practical utility and it can be satisfying to receive confirmation of your family history research. But the DNA kits also have the potential to open up a Pandora’s box of family secrets.

We hope that mental-health professionals and academics will also give their perspectives on the importance of donor-conceived people having access to their medical records, ancestry, and first-degree genetic relatives. has helped connect more than 15,301 children with their half siblings and/or their donors

Click here for info about Event 2023 at Illumine Theatre plays at the Seligman Theatre in Cardiff from 3-13 October 2018 – The world premiere of a new play tackling the ethics of gamete donation will be staged in Cardiff this October. There will also be a post-show discussion with scientific experts on 5 October. 2023 is an explosive exploration of family relationships, genetics and what makes us feel we belong, exploring the 2005 law change which means that children born from donated eggs or sperm are entitled to know who their biological parent is when they turn 18.

DCN (Donor Conception Network) article – A UK charity established in 2011 which supports donor-conceived people, their families, and people considering or undergoing donor-assisted conception treatment. It is made up of a supportive network of 1,600 families, based mainly in the UK. Aims to offer a toolkit that supports families and schools. This guides teachers through the process of acknowledging differences in the way families are built, with the ultimate aim of celebrating their uniqueness. A set of educational resources and activities for teachers to use in the classroom and a set of flashcard-style scripts to support parents and children dealing with questions about donor conception. It also includes a useful compendium of reading material for donor-conceived children and their peers.

article – BBC Article about importance of Egg Freezing for planning family and career

film “Delivery Man” – he’s fathered 533 kids through anonymous donation

artible aboutEven though more than 5 million babies have been born thanks to IVF since the ’70s, egg and embryo freezing is by no means a sure path to parenthood.

IVI fertility clinic in Spain, video – explaining why they prefer anonymous donatin to increase the number of donors and make the process less bureaucratic and faster

video Serial Sperm Donor: 22 Children By 18 Mothers – Ari Nagel | This Morning

video – Sperm banks allow couples all across the world to have children, but there’s something very important that these sperm banks aren’t telling you.

article – Cramblett claims she ‘is now facing numerous challenges and external pressures associated with an unplanned transracial parent–child relationship for which she was not, and is not, prepared’. It also states that Cramblett and her family require long-term counselling and a ‘change of domicile to a place that is more racially and culturally diverse’. She is seeking damages in excess of US$75,000.

article – The University Medical Centre (UMC) in Utrecht revealed that a ‘procedural error’ had taken place in its IVF laboratory (…) As a result, there is a possibility that the fertilised eggs may not carry the genetic material of the intended father.

2 Comments
  • Isabela Gomes Coelho
    Posted at 14:19h, 20 May Reply

    Oi Mariana ! Fiquei sabendo um pouco da sua história quando estive em BH em dezembro. A sua história é a minha história !!! Tambem sou da família Coelho de GV., trabalhei com seu pai na Fiemg. Fiz fertilização em 2010, com 42 anos e tive um casal de gêmeos e costumo dizer que ganhei na loteria!! Apesar de não ter o mesmo estilo de vida que o seu (sou funcionária pública e moro em João Pessoa) compartilho dos mesmos pensamentos e sentimentos seus . A maternidade muda muito a mulher. Para melhor, claro ! Mas também não é aquele conto de fadas perfeito … Para meus filhos sempre digo a eles que eles são o melhor presente de Deus na minha vida ! Filhos precisam de atenção e amor . Boa sorte para você e seu bebê . Muita saúde e tranquilidade…
    Se quiser entre em contato comigo:
    isabelacoelho@hotmail.com podemos marcar uma hora para conversar !! Beijo e fiquem com Deus !

    • Mariana Pimenta
      Posted at 11:18h, 29 May Reply

      Oi Isabela! Que legal! Nao conheco Joao Pessoa, temos que combinar de eu levar o Oliver ai quando ele nascer para nossos filhos se conhecerem entao! Ou quando vier a Valencia me avisa. E vc ter trabalhado com o meu pai, que lindo. Saudade gigante dele que doi. Meu melhor amigo. Acho que ele ia adorar essa “solucao” que encontramos para a maternidade. Beijos beijos!

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